Fredonia Volleyball: A Valentine's Day Story

Paulina (left) and former Blue Devil
volleyball player, Hannah Manning.

This story will be accompanied by pictures of FRIENDS. In ancient Rome, friendship was considered the highest form of love. While this story has to do with romantic love, most of us are lucky enough to have friends to celebrate this Valentine's Day with. Thanks to all our girls for supplying us with the pictures. Enjoy!

Jess, Sara, Sav & Hokaj

During my first year as a volleyball coach at Fredonia I also worked part-time as a home health aide. My friend’s mother, Mary, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease several years before and the family needed to find her another source of care. Mary’s husband, Howard, was the primary caregiver and I would come over on a weekly basis to give him some much-needed rest.

My job was simply to spend a few hours with Mary each Sunday, making sure she was able to go about her daily routine with minimal confusion. We would eat lunch when I arrived, and then sit in the living room and talk for the remainder of our time together. I always sat on a long green couch that had belonged to Mary’s mother.

Lauren (right) & Gianna

Sav & mother, Anna

As with any person suffering from dementia, stories tend to get repeated again and again. I would hear the same stories from Mary many times over the course of a year as she continuously relearned who I was and what I already knew about her. I consider myself a patient person, but even I would get subtly impatient when she once again told me the names of her children and their professions.

But whenever I sat down on that green couch, Mary’s eyes would light up with a story that I would never get tired of hearing:

Freshman at team banquet

Mary and Howard had grown up as childhood friends, living on the same street a few houses apart. They did everything together in the same group of kids, both inside school and out. Once they were in their 20’s, Howard left home to join the Navy while Mary went to a convent for training to become a nun.

Kelly (left) and her roommate, Sara

By the time they were each 25, Mary and Howard had
returned home to Buffalo, exhausted both physically and emotionally (apparently training for a religious life can be just as tiring as training for combat). After dinner one night at Mary’s parents’ house, Mary and Howard each felt empty. Their experiences over the last few years had hollowed out a space in their hearts and very little in daily life seemed real.

Meg, Liza, Paulina, and friend Delia

The rest of the story I’ll leave in the words Mary told me dozens of times:

“After dinner, Howard went over to lie down on my mother’s green couch. He was completely still, just staring at the ceiling. I still don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I walked right over to the couch and lay down next to him. After a minute of lying there, he wrapped his arms around me and we turned to look at each other. In our mutual emptiness, we fell in love.”