When I talk to my team in preseason, I will tell them that conflict is going to happen, and that we will have to recognize it and find a way out. I've found that somehow it works reassuring to my teams. They know things will come up. ~ Johan Dulfer, A Program with Purpose
When the 2012 blockbuster movie Silver Linings Playbook was released, we didn't love it because it was about a happy family. We loved it because it was much the opposite.
After a nasty divorce, a man (Bradley Cooper) is released from a psychiatric hospital back to his parents. In trying to win his wife back, he accidentally meets a woman (Jennifer Lawrence) who's also divorced and equally disturbed. An aggravated love story ensues.
Every scene involves yelling. Man yells at woman. Woman yells at man. Man yells at parents. Parents yell at man. Through it all, we get the sense that this is how these people work through their emotions.
It was wonderful to watch in a movie theater, but we recoil from it when it happens in real life.
The conflict that surfaces within a group of people is natural. Particularly on a sports team, we would never come to understand each other if it didn't.
Living joyfully through strife is a learned skill.