By Ryan Maloney, assistant women's volleyball coach
We all want great things for our athletes, but what happens when our athletes don't want the same great things for themselves?
Anson Dorrance, head women's soccer coach at the University of North Carolina, frequently tells a story about one of his players, Nel Fettig, who baffled him in this regard.
Fettig was one of the top female soccer players in the country during the mid-90's, but had no interest in achieving accolades; being named All-American, making the national team, and even winning seemed irrelevant to her.
This scene from my all-time favorite coaching book, The Man Watching, takes place during Fettig's first player-conference during her freshman year. It's a poignant reminder of how coaches sometimes get carried away with goal-setting:
"When Nel Fettig arrived at UNC as a freshman, Dorrance quickly realized that she was twice the player he thought he had recruited. He couldn't wait to have his first player conference with her because he wanted to tell her how he believed she could play on the national team someday.
On his legal pad, Dorrance began mapping out a future national team lineup with Fettig in it, when he began to sense her discomfort ... Then all of a sudden Fettig interrupted Dorrance and said, "Anson, did you know I was a nationally ranked tennis player as a kid, and do you know why I don't play tennis anymore?" Bells started to go off for Dorrance. He knew exactly what Fettig was going to say.
"I don't play tennis anymore because my mother and my father and my coach were always telling me how great I could be if only I did this or that. You know why I play soccer?"
Dorrance knew, but he shook his head.
"I play soccer for fun."
Dorrance scribbled down Fettig's new goal as "Enjoy Life!", and for the remainder of that player conference and every other one for the rest of her UNC career, Fettig and Dorrance would spend a half hour chatting about what was on sale at the mall or her family's summer vacation plans, anything but soccer, and Fettig became a three-time All-American."(PS - The Art of Coaching Volleyball has a free five-part video series from Dorrance on training female athletes)